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  • Writer's pictureJohn Tasci

54 Funny Business Quotes for Entrepreneurs

Updated: Dec 2, 2022



There are many business quotes, new ones created every day, some that we live by. Most of them are inspirational, and some are funny and cringeworthy! These quotes have been popularized because they're funny and everyone can enjoy a good laugh, and even learn a lesson! Some of the quotes are specific for entrepreneurs understanding the terms and how it makes no sense at all! If you're having a stressful day or want to brighten your day then you should check out these quotes! Here's a list of funny business quotes for entrepreneurs.


"People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily."
Zig Ziglar

"I don't want yes-men around me. I want everyone to tell the truth, even if it costs them their jobs."
Samuel Goldwyn

"The problem with the rat race is that even if you win, you're still a rat."
Lily Tomlin

"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."
Albert Einstein

"Be like a postage stamp. Stick to a thing till you get there."
Josh Billings

"I choose a lazy person to do a hard job. Because a lazy person will find an easy way to do it."
Bill Gates


"Your time is precious, so don't waste it living someone else's life."
Steve Jobs

"Procastination is the art of keeping up with yestersday."
Don Marquis

"Even if you are on the right track, you will get run over if you just sit there."
Will Rogers

"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it"
Sir Winston Churchill


"Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work."
Earl Nightingale

"There's no secret about success. Did you ever know a successful man who didn't tell you about it?"
Kin Hubbard

"Do not underestimate your abilities. That is your boss's job."
Unknown

"Doing nothing is very hard to do... you never know when you're finished"
Leslie Nielsen

"It's okay to look at the past and the future. Just don't stare."
Benjamin Dover


"The first rule of business is: do other men for they would do you."
Charles Dickens

"I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member."
Groucho Marx

"Give a man a fish, and you'll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and he'll buy a funny hat. Talk to a hungry man about fish, and you're a consultant."
Scott Adams

"If you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito."
Dalai Lama

"Make it your business to mind your own business."
Unknown


"The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs ... one step at a time."
Joe Girard

"If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definetly isn't for you."
Steven Wright

"All lasting business is built on friendship"
Alfred A. Montaper

"It's more fun to be a pirate than to join the navy"
Steve Jobs


"I make enemies everyday it's called business"
Unknown

"Business opportunities are like buses, there's always another one coming."
Richard Branson

"If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door."
Milton Berle

"Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."
George Carlin

"If you think you are too small to be effective, you have never been in the dark with a mosquito."
Betty Reese


"You don't want another Enron? Here's your law: If a company, can't explain, in one sentence, what it does... it's illegal."
Lewis Black

"I have a funny family, but none of them are remotely in show business."
Wakanda Skyes

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
Napoleon Bonaparte

"A bank is a place that will lend you money... if you can prove that you don't need it."
Bob Hope


"The best way to appreciate your job is to imagine yourself without one."
Oscar Wilde

"Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died"
Erma Bombeck

"Leadership by example is the most contagious style of leadership. That's why corruption is so widespread."
Unknown

"If "Plan A" didn't work. The alphabet has 25 more letters! Stay Cool."
Unknown


"I'm too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener."
Unknown

"Blowing out someone else's candle doesn't make yours shine any brighter."
Unknown

"Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious"
Peter Ustinov

"Work until your bank account looks like a phone number."
Unknown

"I pretty much live on the Internet, so I wrote down Cuberspace as my legal address."
Unkown


"The only thing that ever sat its way to success was a hen."
Sarah Brown

"Criticism didn't really stop us and it shouldn't ever stop anyone, because critics are only the people who can't get a record deal themselves.."
James Paul McCartney

"Politics is just like a show business. You have a hell of an opening, you coast for a while, you have a hell of a closing"
Ronald Reagan

"Sometimes I spend the whole meeting wondering how they got the big meeting table through the door."
Unknown


"A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer."
Mask Twein

"Did you know that there are zero calories in minding your own damn business?"
Unknown

"Father's Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it's the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business."
Jimmy Fallon

"If at first the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it."
Albert Einstein


"Your brain is doing some great work when it's laughing."
Jon Scieszka

"90% of the things we worry about never actually happen. So I'd like everyone to do a lot more worrying!"
Glasbergen

"If you had to identify in one word the reason why the human race has not achieved and never will achieve its full potential, that word would be 'meetings'.
Dave Barry

I hope you found these quotes funny and learned something new! Comment your favorite quote!

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